Holiday Hauntings

It's that time of year again. Emma went to a party Friday night. She has chosen ghoulish over glamor this year. There will be more photos to follow as the season "Creeps" closer...




Bwa-ha-ha-haaa!

He Was My Baby, Who Is That Young Man?

I knew it was something every mother went through. I knew it was coming. But I tried to forget about it. Then, last night, the first of many tearful moments happened. The realization that this is the beginning of many endings. He is growing up and moving on into adulthood.
It was at the Senior Soccer Recognition Night where this epiphany hit me. I felt the tears well up and forced them back. I looked at that amazing young man and for the life of me, I couldn't remember the sweet little baby face that once looked up at me thinking I was his whole world.

I miss the cuddles and muddy feet. I miss the little one that I held in my arms. I have to, in a way, mourn the loss of that child, as each year passes. I will never hold that newborn, toddler, or child ever again. Sure, bit's and pieces of each of those years exist in him now, but he is in almost every aspect a different person.
Now, he towers over me and as he is looking down at me, his eyes say that he can't wait to experience the whole world for himself. Sure there is a bit of apprehension at the big new world he will be a part of and surely conquer. But he is almost ready.

I look at him and wonder where I went right. Despite all the parenting mistakes I surely made, he amazes me. He is genuinely a good and honest person. He has learned the value of hard work and knows he is a child of God. He is an kind and generous big brother, and I wonder too, how Emma will handle his moving on to the next stages of his life. I am sure she and I will do it together with many tears.

I fear that this (school) year will bring many more tearful moments as I watch him do many things for the "Last Time". I knew this was coming, I didn't expect it this soon and I didn't realize until today that there will be many more of these moments in the weeks and months to come.

But OH, the joy I feel at the many wonderful things awaiting his future. It is that thought, that hope, that brings a little peace to my fluttering heart. Because as he experiences many "Lasts", he will surely experience many more "Firsts". I only hope that he will still continue to include me in many of those firsts. He has so much life yet to live, that in recognizing these endings, I am also greatly aware of the beginnings that are already happening. I love him and I am as proud of him as I can possibly be. I know that if he keeps God close to him, his life will always be blessed.